Baby loss awareness week

Over the last few days I have tried many times (and failed that same number of times) to write a meaningful post about Baby Loss Awareness Week.

What could I say that would not be biased by my own acute pain? How can I convey sympathy (empathy) without being trite, or offering what seem like platitudes (time heals, your baby lives on in your heart, a life well remembered lives on)? Will my attempt to raise awareness/recognise this day scare prospective/expectant/new parents into worrying that they will be one of those unlucky families who suffer this unimaginable (literally – no one could ever have prepared me for the heart and gut wrenching agony caused by the death of my child) bereavement?

I don’t know. I don’t know what the answers are. I don’t know why my baby died. I don’t know why we had to be one of those unlucky families (yes, I know I should count myself lucky with the beautiful children I have managed to hang on to, but still….).

What I do know is that it still hurts. It hurts every time I think about Rosie. It hurts when I realise I haven’t thought about her ‘enough’.

And for the other families who know that anguish, that eternal feeling of wishing for a rewind button or a chance to do-over, I owe them my words. To say out loud that I see you, and I hear you and I absolutely feel your pain.

So I will light a candle for Rosie, for my clients’ lost babies, for those of my family who I never got to meet.

And I will light a candle for you, the parents, the grandparents, the siblings, the friends. The ones left behind. I wish you the gentlest of days

#babylossawarenessweek #waveoflight #sandscharity#miscarriageassociation #blaw2018



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A Mentored Doula has completed a Doula UK approved Preparation Course and is involved in Doula UK's Recognition Process. This means that they have a Mentor providing support and supervision within a framework for reflective practice until they has gained sufficient experience to become a Recognised Doula. A Mentored Doula's fees reflect their previous and current experience, their expenses and the going rate in their area.


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